The only word I understand is monsieur. A sling of unintelligible French blindsides me as I walk down the street; and though I have no clue what this old man […]
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The only word I understand is monsieur. A sling of unintelligible French blindsides me as I walk down the street; and though I have no clue what this old man […]
Read moreOn my sister’s 21st birthday, I visited her at the Cook County Jail. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so annoyed to see her there. If only I had […]
Read moreTrigger Warning: sexual themes and abuse In my career as a sex worker, I accept gifts with poise and grace. It’s an odd twist in theminds of other people. That […]
Read morePrologue to a Memoir Based on Love Letters to my Dead Husband By Margaret S. Mandell Sunday, December 10, 2017 My Dearest Love: October 2015. I am swimming laps alone […]
Read moreIn the sweltering summer of 1966, I have a kitten who will not cooperate under the Arizona sun that glares at me from its cloudless sky and scorches all things […]
Read moreI am sitting on my meditation cushion, cross-legged and with eyes closed, warmed by the afternoon sun shining through the glass patio door in front of me. The sound of […]
Read moreMy internship duties in the Fine and Decorative Arts Department of the British National Army Museum included organizing and documenting collections of photographs and rearranging shelves of original 17th and […]
Read moreIt was late at night, and the dog was barking—that is, until she suddenly voiced a squeal that made it sound like she’d been stabbed through the paw. I emerged […]
Read moreThe prison is like a Victorian asylum, and carefully arranged. The grounds are tastefully laid out, each tree with its own hillock of greeenery and rock, paths intersecting over the […]
Read moreJune 1999 Bzz…Bzz…Bzz… My alarm sounds off, 2:00 a.m. A rude but expected awakening. Rolling onto my side, out of bed, I slump upright. From a pile of clothes stacked […]
Read moreI can’t sleep. Deep breath in. Boredom has hit me like a speck of bird poop that I can’t shake off. I’m doing that thing I did when I was […]
Read moreYou’ve seen water towers, right? Those huge, tall jugs of water along the roadside. They’re usually a mess—washed out paint and rust, covered by graffiti, erected on the edge of […]
Read moreLike all Filipinos, at the age of puberty, I became obsessed with penis size. I used to be very guarded about my bare body. What happened? A couple of years […]
Read moreFrom downstairs I hear you playfully yell “panties!” with the tantrum-bound toddler who is disemboweling my underwear drawer. By the shape of the laugh in your throat I can tell […]
Read moreI didn’t always know I was a woman. That’s one of the myths – that every trans person knows it from Day One. I guess I knew from pretty early […]
Read moreIt’s a perfect day for a cigarette. When I smoke I prefer a menthol cigarette, or a “Minty Fresh,” as a friend of a friend once put it. For reasons […]
Read moreI have no hair atop my head but if I did it would be like yours and I’d wash it brush it out and take care of it and on […]
Read moreSoft as buckskin and long as a train’s whistle, mourning dove calls drift down the summer afternoon, signaling the coming evening coolness. I listen hard and try to see what […]
Read moreThe rain cut me a river wide enough to savour my numbered gardens— each with their own cloud. And in each I bred a different flower— a single rose: blood […]
Read moreI was born an old soul they say, a quiet spectator mulling over muddled thoughts, about what I don’t know, perhaps a previous lifetime. I woke to bird sounds in […]
Read moreI’ve probably been inside more than 500 tunnels, caves, souterrains, or underground passages in my entire life. My first home was a kind of cave, an organic one that was […]
Read moreThe poet Charles Bukowski said “I don’t know about other people, but when I wake up in the morning and put my shoes on, I think, Jesus Christ, what now?” […]
Read moreI only ever wrote to be close to you. You didn’t exist. I knew that. But it didn’t matter when I could create words that would conjure you. And someday, […]
Read moreThe letter I wrote Lilly first thing after I found out talks to her in the present tense, like she still exists, because she does still exist for me, or […]
Read more1 My grandfather lived next to two wheat farmers. I secretly wished my grandfather was a wheat farmer. I would bicycle along the edge of their fields, picking stalks that […]
Read moreInto the infinite void where spaciousness calls out with a silent vibrating hum. Vibrant electricity gets shocked and magnetized by polar extremes to find coordinated balance at a […]
Read moreIt occurred to me the other day that I don’t know your name even though you wear a name tag. I never even bothered to look at it. I think […]
Read moreI was five years old when I first kissed a girl. Her name was Juliana and it happened during my kindergarten recess, on the sand playground. Juliana was a redhead […]
Read moreThe first time I tried to ride a two wheel bike, I remember my dad running alongside my six-year-old self as I swerved down the street, nearly sideswiping multiple parked […]
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