Eight of Wands by Caiti Quatmann

[222 words]

listen     i was slower once     full
of syrup & warnings    I used
to believe     in build-up     sent
my secrets by mail    left room
for longing     in the creases

then     the wands came
eight of them     sleepless
each     with one eye     open
they tore     through the black sky
one of them blinked     at me
then     kept going

there was no thunder     just light
then more     light    then 
a voice     in the mountains
saying     you’re already behind

i drank     from the wrong river
to try to keep up     now
i carry     a little bird     in my mouth
it chirps     at every choice
i make     says     flirt faster
says     don’t confuse
silliness     for safety

the landscape     beneath them
was pink     like fresh bruising
the mountains had been shaved
clean     by someone in a hurry

the trees looked like matches
the water     an afterthought
i tried     to make a wish
but my teeth     buzzed
from the speed     of it all

i tried to ask     the white hand
in the sky     if it meant
to bless me     or catch me
it didn't answer     just
showed me     its palm
just opened its eye     wider

once i thought     momentum meant
progress     now     i think     it just means
you’ve been flung     i keep waking up

mid-flight     petals falling     behind me
no map     just the chirp     of yes
where     no     should be



Caiti Quatmann (she/they) is a disabled and queer writer residing in St. Louis. She is the author of three poetry collections and Editor-in-Chief for HNDL Mag. Her work is forthcoming or appearing in McSweeney’s, Rattle, Neologism Poetry Journal, North Dakota Review, The Bitchin’ Kitsch, Thread, and others. Find her on social media @CaitiTalks.

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