Butthole Blue Ribbon by Dustin King

content warnings

vulgar language

[94 words]

      - For Dennis 

           Our assholes aren’t so special, 
                       buttcheeks the real innovation.
Go poop your shorts on mile 23 of a marathon.
           Birds kiss cloacas, 
                    shit an egg. 
                       Alligators fart ferociously 
                                to attract a sexual partner. 
               Bio scientist spit coffee 
      sea cucumbers with their Swiss Army anuses 
                  breathe, eat, shit, ovulate, ejaculate, 
                                          house pearlfish, 
         expel internal organ defense clouds at predators,
                          play xbox,
             play Bach’s Sonata No. 1 in G Minor 
                       by heart, I mean by ventral vessel, 
                pheromone-to-text their theses on feces
                    over one coffee-soaked semester. 
                             Dr. Pickle’s got a PHD:
                                Pretty Huge Dilator.


Dustin King would always rather be sneaking a bottle of wine into a movie theater. When nothing good is playing, he teaches Spanish and runs a small organization that provides aid to the undocumented community in Richmond, Va. His poems pop up in the Potomac Review, Ligeia, Feral, Sublunary Review, and other spots.

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